Dept. of Remembrance

[kaffy_r]

Memorial Day

Janet Sears; close friend in my early newspaper days. Sweet-faced, wryly-sardonic woman whose laugh I can still hear, as she nursed me through a broken heart, as we shared musical tastes and made fun of the men who broke our hearts. Janet'sweetness concealed a tough determination to control her life, which came in handy, because her life was a tough ride. Died of cervical/ovarian cancer in the late 1990s. I kind of loved her, and I miss her.

Mary McAndrew: newswoman extraordinaire, poker player, sardonic to the point of being frightening. How amazing was she? This amazing. I'll always be grateful to her for introducing me to percogesic, an amazingly effective over-the-counter anti-headache medicine, which no longer exists.  Died of cancer in 1999. I respected the hell out of her, and I liked her and I miss her. 

Ed Sunden: unforgettable, unbearable and unbearably wonderful. Brilliant, over-the-top, horrid and lovely, sometimes at the same time. Gun lover, deer-hunter, non-stop smoker, beer drinker, tequila consumer, inveterate prankster, nonstop in every sense of the word. I met him at Suncon, the 1977 World Science Fiction Convention.  SF fan, friends with some of the most amazing people, one of whom was my Best Beloved, to whom he introduced me. He changed my world. Died of an apparent aneurysm while sitting down to work, Dec. 6, 2000. I loved him, and I miss him. 

Rona Malk: nurse and educator, mother, brilliant - yes another one whose intellect glittered - and occasionally dangerous. Joined Ed in making nights at our favorite bars an unpredictable adventure. Wanted a family, and found it when she fell in love with her husband, and had two children with him. Died of cancer in 2001. She made me laugh and think. I liked her, and I miss her.

William Cardwell Routliffe:absent father, bon vivant, convivial train-wreck, whose live lurched and stumbled because of alcohol, but who always got back up. Maker of friends, teller of tales, a man who knew his life wasn't what it could have been, but loved it nonetheless. Died following a stroke on January 26, 2009. I didn't know him nearly enough, but I think I loved him, and I miss him. 

Nick Katz: my first friend at Pioneer Press. Incredible reporter, long-ago blues guitarist, purveyor of the darkest, blackest of humors, one-time romantic idealist turned wounded cynic. Lover of cooking, to a near-chef level of talent. Detective noir fan. He babysat my son when FB was a little guy. He was an amazing, wonderful friend, and a vastly talented individual, who, at the end, hated everything about his job and his life, but he kept going. I wanted so much for him to be happy. Died of a possible heart attack or maybe an aneurysm on May 11, 2013. I miss him very much.

Mary Glen Keirstead Routliffe Stirling: my mother. This is how amazing she was. I can't begin to say how much I love her. Died after a year's fight against cancer that wasn't found nearly early enough. I miss her like crazy, and I still like to talk to her. 

Comments

[intrigueing]

This is so beautifully written and evocative. Thank you so much for sharing.

[kaffy_r]

And thank you for reading. The editor in me took a second look at what I wrote, and wanted to change words here and there, but my heart decided against it. So what if I used the word "amazing" too many times? It's because these friends and dear ones were amazing!

[shanghaied]

Well said.

I couldn't bear to do one of these myself, as you know all too well how long the list would be - given my former profession and the attendant fact that the deaths of my old friends and colleagues tend to get announced on Wikipedia :-/

[kaffy_r]

as you know all too well how long the list would be

Understandable; the naming of lost ones can hurt as much as it can provide joyful memories.

This list came about, at least in some small part, because I'd realized, with great chagrin, that I couldn't remember Janet's name; I could see her face (she had absolutely luminous skin), I could see her smile, I could even hear her voice after all these years, but her name ... was gone. After fruitlessly searching on the Internet, using the last name of her former husband, I temporarily gave up, and began thinking of all the other liked or beloved people whose faces and names I could remember.

And then Janet's name returned to me. I jumped up from my seat and called the name two or three times in triumph (BB understood), and then I decided to memorialize her here so that I'd never again be without her name. And I realized that I wanted people to know about her.

[shanghaied]

Again, well said...

[kaffy_r]

Names have power, as you well know.

[a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Thank you for opening your heart and sharing these wonderful people with us all. This is truly what immortality is, lovie: the sharing of the people we loved, good, bad, beautiful and ugly when they are gone. Why we miss them. What made them people and the extraordinary, epic lives they lived.

Thank you for this.

And may their paths be smooth and their way beyond well-lit and filled with ood memories to carry.

*HUGS YOU*

[kaffy_r]

I really like to think that I'll run into them again some fine day, but some of them I miss so very much that "some fine day" is still too long a time to wait.

*hugs you back*

[clocketpatch]

The blessings these people have brought to your life, and the lives of others, is vibrantly clear in this post. Thank you for sharing their stories.

[kaffy_r]

Each one of them was remarkable - then again, I think the secret is that human beings in general are pretty remarkable, if only we take time to appreciate them. I am glad you enjoyed my memories of them.

[eaweek.livejournal.com]

So very poignant; thanks for sharing!

[kaffy_r]

It was my slightly bitter-sweet pleasure.

[eaweek.livejournal.com]

Your tribute to your mother was just lovely. She sounds like she was a truly remarkable woman. Belated condolences on your loss.

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

Ah, yup, that was Ed all right. Even though I knew him only a small fraction as well as you did, there's still an Ed-sized hole in my life. An Ed-sized hole, and oh, my, the missing stories that would have filled it.

And Rona, who welcomed me so warmly into her home, who greeted me so happily at Brunch and other parties.

Thank you for remembering them, for holding those memories near in your heart and sharing them here.

Hugs.

[kaffy_r]

We have missed Ed for years, and it's a hole that can never be filled up. There are others I remember, too; it seems the list gets longer every year, which is a fact of life for humans, but not one we can ever be happy with.

I'm glad you liked these memories!

Hugs to you as well, my dear.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

♥♥♥

Beautiful words, ringing with love… Clearly they aren't and won't be forgotten ♥