kaffy_r | Entries tagged with what fresh hell

Jesus Fucking Christ

It's already been bad for days out in LA, and now the motherfuckers are deploying marines there? Marines? The actual military?

It's only a matter of time - days? - before they send them into my city. Fuck. My neighborhood might not be as heavily Hispanic as Pilsen or Humboldt Park, but Rogers Park has a big enough undocumented community that ICE thugs have already been reported hanging around; at least that's the report. Last week I hoped it was just a fear-fueled rumor. Now?

Sorry for the swearing; but not too sorry. The moment calls for it.

Current Mood: enraged
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: RM & Tablo "Stop the Rain"

Remind Me Again About the Land of the Free.

I mean, I knew it was coming as soon as the Senate approved Hegseth's nomination. Still, one always - foolishly - hopes.

Tulsi Gabbard is now Director of National Intelligence. I hope we can extract Zelenskyy from Ukraine before Gabbard sends Putin information on where to fiind him.

I'm not even going to contemplate Bear Cub McBrainworm's pending ascension to Health and Human Services.

I spent part of the day at a local journalism training session, came home and shoveled sidewalks. Bob's asleep. One thing I will contemplate is whether to start on applesauce, prep for an apple pie instead, or focus on a celery soup.

I have to get up to the post office tomorrow to get some postcard stamps, and then I have to write 100 postcards for potential voters in Wisconsin (state supreme court election, among others.) Not that I think it will matter.

Current Mood: distressed
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Stray Kids "Wow"

But Music Generally Makes It Better. Mostly. More or Less.

It's been a fairly boring 8 days since my last post. Which is probably good, given my low-grade political stress. Oh, hell, let's not pretend it's low-grade. It's off the damn charts. Eleven days. Dear sweet baby pickles, 11 days. To be followed, undoubtedly, by a couple of weeks of unknowing. As so many people in the online commentariat now remind us, it's no longer Election Day.

TFG is outright wanting his generals to "be like Hitler's generals" (hey, Agent Orange, do you mean the ones that died by suicide in the days immediately before or after Adolph taking that route in the bunker? Or the generals who tried to kill him more than once, but who wreeee stymied by satanic good luck on his part, or possibly through their incompetence? Those generals? What a complete ignoramus.)

What's worse are decisions by the LA Times and the Washington Post's owners to avoid endorsing for the presidential race. As Jeff Tiedrich calls them, the worthless scribblers of the corporate press, or at least WaPo's, tried to cloak this in high-minded bullshit. I already avoid the NY Times. I don't want to cancel my subscription to WaPo, but JFC .... More to come, since I haven't quite made up my mind. If I do, I can start paying for my Guardian news, which would be good.

And tonight, deep in the wee smalls over in the Middle East, Bibi Netanyahu decided to up the "how much further can I drive military craziness around me" ante by bombing military sites in and around Tehran. In response, of course, to Tehran throwing missiles at Israel. In response to Israel killing various Hamas and Hezbollah military leaders. In response to, in response to, in response to, in fucking response to--

Meanwhile, more kids are dying in Gaza, the West Bank and now in Lebanon.

Remind me again why humans are worth keeping around?

But there is music, I suppose.

And art of all kindsl stained glass windows, deathless books and poetry from all corners of the Earth, from all centuries that we can investigate.

And people who rush into danger to save other people. And folks who pack their SUVs with stuff folks in hurricane-ravaged southern U.S. states desperately need. And other folks who fight to get food to Gazans. And people who try to help Ukraine. And folks who try to save Hoolock Gibbons in Assam state, India. And people who report wrongdoings big and small, regardless of the danger to themselves. There's Jack Smith. There's people who still fight for justice.

I guess we're worth saving. By the skin of the universe's teeth, but I suppose I need to take the win.

Time to put on more music. Loud.

(We did manage to get a new light and fan combo installed in the bedroom, replacing the light-fan combo that died about a month ago. Oh, and I've been approved for my miniscule Canadian pension. Oh, and I managed to put more chapters of Gleaning Musutachi up over on

originalkaffy_r So there's all that on my tiny personal stage. Back to playing music very loud ....)

Current Mood: depressed
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Stray Kids "Another Day"/"Phobia"

Or Perhaps This Is What We Really Are

Hamas. Israel. Lebanon. Iran. Gaza. West Bank. Hezbollah. Murder. Mass murder. And dead children everywhere. I hear people mourning, saying "God have mercy." Never mind any damn god. It's us. It's us. Dead children everywhere. It's us, we humans. We damnable humans. We kill them. We kill the children, directly or indirectly. Damn all of you. Damn all of us. Damn you. Damn me.

Current Mood: enraged
Current Location: leaving the house

Floored by the Flies
or, Why Flymageddon Has Me Twitchy as Hell

So you, my friends, may already know that I am not a fan of insects. I'm not a non-fan of all insects, mind; butterflies and moths are lovely; ants, while I don't like them in my house, I respects ants. And there are many insects that I recognize are important in the circle of life. Even *shudder* cicadas.

Not mosquitoes ... well, yes, they're important as food for birds. So, OK, they're not completely useless.

But houseflies?

There is no reason for them. No. Damn. Reason. At. All.

I loathe them. I loathe their ugliness, I loathe their buzzing sound. I loathe - I loathe everything about them.

And over the past three days, Bob and I have killed at least 10 of the little fuckers. We've killed them with fly swatters. We've killed them with Raid flying insect spray. Well, I've generally been the "spray them and watch them die" person, because I don't have the kind of hand-eye coordination, or the reflexes, to successfully wield a fly swatter. As a result, our kitchen and dining room windows are now fogged with a poisonous, oily sheen that I will have to clean up.

The flies are coming in somewhere in gaps - gaps that we can't easily spot - around our window frames. These are windows we installed at considerable cost to improve on the really terrible windows we previously had. And their secret entry way is a horrible mystery to us.

All I know at this point is that my nerves are frayed. I've been unable to concentrate on things I need to concentrate on. I've been a mess.

Tomorrow, however, I'm going to employ a non-poisonous, non-fly-swatter method of capturing and killing flies: a 50/50 mix of apple cider vinegar and dish soap in bowls. My google-fu appears to show this as a wide-spread favorite.

Wish me luck. It's such a little thing to have tattered nerves about, given the state of this world, from wars almost everywhere to natural disasters killing people (more than 120 dead and hundreds more missing in states hit by Hurricane Helene, just to name one).

But it's still a thing.

Current Mood: distressed
Current Location: the living room
Current Music: MSNBC

Oh, FFS

Well, just great. More gunfire, maybe. More MAGA rage-activity in 3-2-1 ....

Fuck.

Current Mood: infuriated
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: MSNBC

Jesus Harold Christ

Donald Trump is a narcissistic fascist with dreams of kingship, and no interest in helping anyone but himself. He is a vile human being.

But no one - NO ONE - should be the target of an assassination attempt. Much as I've joked in the past about how I'd be happy to hear that he's shuffled off this mortal coil, there's no room now for joking around. Tonight, someone tried to take out the former president of the United States, while he was on the campaign trail.

He wasn't killed. He was apparently only slightly injured. But one of his followers died. Two others are in critical condition. All because they came to one of Trump's hate-filled rallies. I have no idea what type of people they are, or were, like. None of them deserved to be killed or injured.

I heard one MAGA attendee as she was interviewed by NBC reporter Dasha Burns. She said with great sincerity, that this should never happen, that there isn't room in the country for this kind of hatred, and "we need to come together as a country" against the hate. I wanted to cry because this woman, who seemed, as I said, very sincere, didn't realize that it was her chosen candidate and his MAGA cult that has done the most to encourage the hatred and the violence she deplored.

The would-be assassin is dead.

The right-wing rage machine has revved up.

Joe Biden is now in more danger than he's ever been.

Jesus wept.

(As an aside, kudos to the BBC reporter who spoke to a man outside the rally who said he and others near him had watched the would-be assassin crawl up on the roof from which he fired; that they had repeatedly tried to alert nearby law enforcement to the guy. And the young man said he couldn't understand why there hadn't been law enforcement on that roof. Agreed.)

Current Mood: distressed
Current Location: the living room

Or At Least Something Like It

When I got up this morning, I was going to write a post about Canada Day. I wanted to talk about my love for the country of my birth, despite its faults and failures.

I also thought about a post concerning my struggles to cut grass with a manual mower for the first time in my life. That left me almost incapable of thought, covered in sweat, and determined to finish the job on the morrow.

I also thought about a short, gleeful post, with a picture of my Lollapalooza wristband, which I bought and received on Sunday.

But all I can think of right now is the 6-3 decision by a Supreme Court whose "conservative" justices (that's in snicker quotes, because they sure as hell weren't paying attention to American conservative philosophy) decided, for all intents and purposes, to reintroduce us to the reality of American kingship.

Maybe I can talk about it more intelligently tomorrow. I know I rather expected this.

Right now, though, all I can think is that those six are traitors.

Of course I understand that they aren't, not in the manner described by American consitutional jurisprudence.

In a deeper sense, however, they are. They deliberately turned their back on American democracy.

They are treasonous quislings. Were I ever to meet them, I would spit on their shoes.

*takes deep breath, and understands that the struggle has to continue*

Current Mood: distressed
Current Location: the living room

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Current Mood: enraged

The Debate.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

TFG lies.

Joe seems as if he's suffering from a cold.

Mother fuck.

Jake and Dana - call this mother fucker out.

Current Mood: enraged

Just Another Goddamn Day in U.S. Jurisprudence*

Those six motherfuckers. Those six goddamn SCOTUS Trump bootlickers.

Elie Mystal was right. Merrick Garland was too fucking slow.

Also? McConnell ... I wish for him an endless bout of shingles, to punish him for keeping Garland off the Supreme Court, and for refusing to indict Trump.

I guess it's up to us, and the ballot box.

I guess I have to get my citizenship.

*I'd apologize for my language, but ... nah. This situation deserves it.

Current Mood: enraged
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: MSNBC

They Put on Hatred Like Armor ...

... to protect themselves from the arrows of their own consciences.

Israel; Gaza; Hamas; dead children; brutalized hostages; panicked exoduses from the darkness, no water, no escape. Funerals for girls and boys gunned down at a rave; for families whose saferooms weren't; white phosphorus; journalists killed; truth lost in the fog of war; faces twisted in hatred in Times Square ....

With all our intellect, with all our intermittently great hearts, with all our ability to occasionally see the stars and reach for them, and we do this to each other.

Jesus wept..

Fucking humans.

Current Mood: drained
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: ambient music, with birds

War Is Hell, And We Remember

When I was a little girl, Remembrance Day was perhaps the most important day in our household and arguably in my town, my province, and throughout Canada.
( Read more... )

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: None

Independence From What, Exactly?

I'm sorry.

I was going to write something different on this Independence Day. I'd even started. the process. It wasn't the type of optimistic commentary I used to post about this country. But it did have something of hope in it. Here's how far I got:

Some people say our country has changed fundamentally in the last seven years, especially with the Supreme Court’s recent theocratic and authoritarian rulings. However, I think it more accurate to say veils that once hid our country's fundamental flaws from those of us at or near the top of society are being torn mercilessly away, forcing us to recognize the fact that our country was built with violence toward those at or near the bottom.

It doesn't mean I love our country less; it means that the love I bear forces me to see the flaws, and challenges me to fight them, to change them, to erase them. That will take more than individual effort; it will take a community, a nationwide chain of communities, and the effort will be long, hard, and often heartbreaking. But it will be worth it.

How can I say that now?

A Fourth of July parade in Highland Park, a wealthy northern suburb of Chicago.

Six dead so far, 31 injured and taken to two hospitals (24 in one, the rest to another; most of the injuries gunshot wounds.) Chaos (TW for smartphone pics taken by bystanders; no blood posted on Twitter.)

One shaky description of the shooter. Small build, white, longer black hair, tee-shirt, 18-20 years of age. An apparently young guy still on the loose.

I've listened to a doctor who was on the scene with his family, saying that while he'd never served in the military, he'd served in ERs where he's cared for horrific injuries. What he saw in the first people he reached, he said, were "horrific, massive injuries."

Reports of young kids lost, separated from their parents or caregivers. Abandoned bicycles and cars decorated in red white and blue bunting. Abandoned chairs people had been sitting in to watch the parade.

Rifle? Rifles? AK-15, or similar semi-automatic weapon?

That I can say "Hey, at least it's not as bad as Buffalo; it's definitely not Uvalde" is unbelievably, indescribably horrible.

Happy Independence Day, America.

Current Mood: distressed
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: New reports

Fuck

( More swearing under here. You've been warned. )

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Location: the home office

The Bastards Did It

Five old men and one quisling woman took away every woman's right to bodily autonomy.

They don't care about babies. They don't care that women won't stop having abortions - women will just stop having safe abortions. They don't care that women will die. They don't care that women will be forced to bear children against their will.

Of course, they don't care.

Here's what they care about.

They want to move this country back to when white men were in charge of everything; to when only white women had any freedoms, and those were limited; to when black and brown people had to sit in the back of the bus or risk their lives; back when LGBTQ+ people had to stay in the shadows or risk theirs.

They want the Good Old White Boy Days.

They've been proving it for years, of course, and most of us white middle-class folk ignored all the signs, more fools us. This is just the largest, cruelest, most merciless kick-in-the-teeth proof.

Alito. Thomas. Roberts. Gorsuch. Kavanaugh. Coney Barrett.

Fuck you, you of The Anti-Woman Six. Fuck every single one of you,

We won't go back.

Current Mood: enraged
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: blood pounding in my ears

Ukraine

I've been glued to the television since yesterday afternoon, Chicago time. I'm sure many of you have as well.

Part of me has been cynically disgusted at the hypocrisy of our horror at a European war, at the attention and sanctions and drums beating - when we seemed over the past too many years, and seem now, so willing to let black and brown innocent people across the globe suffer through bloody wars and horrors with deafening silence. Or worse, how we here in the West have beat the drums and sent our militaries to non-European countries to add to that suffering for the sake of oil, for the sake of geopolitcal maneuvering.

The other part of me is all too aware that those other undemocratic and hypocritically ignored or involved wars did not involve the would-be Czar of All the Russias, with his paranoia and his finger on the nuclear button.

Two things that are rattling around in my brain. China may be reluctant to visibly support Putin, but is probably more than willing to offer its financial networks for Russia to move money past sanctions, and is undoubtedly willing to purchase natural gas that's been blocked from European sale.

The other is that someone pointed out that the Soviet retreat from Afghanistan was sparked at least in significant part, by the anger of Soviet mothers seeing their sons come home in body bags. The fact that people are out on Russian streets demonstrating against this war, despite close to 2,000 arrests, may be the thing that should frighten the Czar.

Jesus wept.

So do we all.

Current Mood: worried
Current Location: the living room
Current Music: MSNBC and some CNN

January Sixth, For Our Sins.

One year ago, I posted this, as I watched the attack on democracy. I know a lot of you were watching and listening as well.

A mentally and emotionally stunted lying grifter who, having lost a national election, urged his slavishly and blindly devoted cult members to go and break into Congress to overturn the results of that election.

Tear gas. Hate-distorted faces in a mob where people, many of them resembling nothing so much as toxic LARPers drunk on some vision of a militarized, racist, xenophobic, misogynist and homophobic America, screamed imprecations at Anyone Who Isn't Us.

Capital police attacked with poles bearing American flags, by men and women who previously claimed to "back the blue".

Confederate flags in the halls of Congress. Grinning vandals who smeared human excrement on walls. Would-be saviors of a noisome whites-only future.

It was violent. It was anti-democratic. It was horrific.

It's still horrific.

In the year since 1/6/21, I've watched the suit-and-tie type of cult members still sitting in Congress, still sitting in Fox television studios, pretend 1/16/21 never happened. I've watched as pollsters say that three-quarters of Republican voters believe (or claim to) that the grifter actually won on Nov. 3, 2020. I've watched pollsters and pundits say the suit-and-tie autocrats will win Washington in 2022 mid-terms and explode any chance of future free and fair local, state and national elections.

I've watched Democrats splinter into those who - hopelessly, given Congressional and judicial inertia - urge accountability and those who don't, or who, worse, reveal their complete abdication from Democratic and democratic ideals. (If there is a Club Hell, Manchin and Sinema are due to get past the velvet ropes and saunter on in.) Meanwhile, members of the other party kiss the grifter's ring and plan to further poison and ultimately kill democracy.

Today, I listened to President Joe Biden's speech, and cheered the way he finally - finally - gave voice to his anger about this monstrous event.

But it isn't enough.

Today I saw only three Republicans mark the day - one of them being Dick Fucking Cheney, for god sake.

And I can't get this man's words out of my head. Because he's right.

God, who I occasionally believe in, have mercy on us. We are showing no mercy on ourselves.

Current Mood: enraged
Current Location: the living room
Current Music: MSNBC
Crossposts: https://kaffy-r.livejournal.com/606470.html

So We've Apparently Lost Virginia

Per the Washington Post as of 8:20 p.m. Chicago time, a Trump clone with better hair is winning the gubernatorial election over Democratic candidate Terry McAuliffe. That sucks big time, although I notice that the gap is closing, with 26 percent of the vote left to be tallied. It still won't be enough. ~~On the other hand, it looks as if the Democratic governor of New Jersey is set to become the first Democrat to win reelection in that state for about 40 years. So there's that.~~ Apparently not.

It's so damned tiring; I mean, I knew all the way back on Nov. 4, 2020, that our fight wasn't over. But watching Democrats lose their spines when they have the fucking majorities in both Congressional chambers; watching Manchin and Sinema double up to hobble the Democratic Senate; seeing Biden fail to take both of them out to the woodshed and [warning: extremely violent wish in the offing from Your Humble Correspondent] spank them so hard they can't sit down for a fucking week; watching people who I otherwise have to assume have enough brain cells to walk and chew gum at the same time melt down* in incoherent and inchoate whiny, fear-filled rage about Critical Race Theory, OMG it's coming for our children, won't someone PLEASE think of the (white) children and Black Lives Matter ...

... it's just fucking tiring. I'm privileged; I'm white, I'm not overly poverty-stricken and, oh, did I mention I'm white? So I can say "it's fucking tiring". I have that luxury. Black and brown people don't have that luxury; Americans of various Asian backgrounds don't have that luxury; the unhoused don't have that luxury; the undocumented don't have that luxury.

And we're failing them. I'm part of that "we".

I can't give a lot of money, despite having a higher standard of living than a lot of people. But I should be able to give of my time.

I hate calling people on the phone; I did it for too many years as part of my job. So I've held back on doing one little thing - doing phone banks for candidates I believe in across the country. I guess I need to get off my duff, swallow my anxiety and get out there.

Thank you for your patience, as I maunder and scream bitterly into the void.

*and they call us snowflakes. Faugh ... yes they are deplorable.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Jazz on WDCB
Crossposts: https://kaffy-r.livejournal.com/603622.html

Toilets. Triggering.

Yes. Yes, they are.

A non-working toilet - specifically a non-working toilet in my own abode - is, for unpleasant reasons completely unnecessary to unload on you, Gentle Reader, triggering to me. It goes back a long way; back more than 20 years, and I am unable to break myself of being triggered.

Tonight, our toilet became ... temporarily unusable. Calling the plumbers was initially a case of scheduling one for Monday. Then, For Reasons, we had to switch to an emergency call tonight. Was it expensive? Yes. Did I like paying a three-digit bill that was upwards of 400? Christ, no.

Was it worth it to ensure I didn't become a mental, emotional, or (god help me) a physical mess, and to prevent Bob from having to deal with me?

Sadly, yes.

I fucking hate toilet problems. With the red hot fury of a thousand blazing suns.

Current Mood: stressed
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: A working toilet, silence thereof
Crossposts: https://kaffy-r.livejournal.com/599973.html

Tear Gas in the Houses of Congress

Congress is in lockdown. Senate told to evacuate. Trumpistas outside, cheering on their buddies storming Congress. Jesus Fucking Christ.

Have mercy.

Current Mood: infuriated
Current Location: watching this shit go down
Crossposts: https://kaffyr.livejournal.com/570656.html

2020: the year of "Oh, Fuck Off."

That's how I've come to think of this hell year. The most recent "Oh, fuck off" I've given came a few minutes ago, when something ate my original post. As is always the case, I know that that post would have been much more erudite, civilized and amusing than this one. Leave it to 2020 to eat a post. Fuck you, 2020, I'm going to write another post! *eyes narrow, daring the year to do anything more to my post*.

( Under here lies my rant )

Current Mood: irritated
Current Location: my bedroom
Current Music: YouTube
Crossposts: https://kaffyr.livejournal.com/570396.html

Rest in Peace Ruth Bader Ginsburg

God DAMN.
GOD DAMN

And also ...

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

Current Mood: distressed
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Kurt Elling
Crossposts: https://kaffyr.livejournal.com/565066.html

Livejournal's At It Again.

Once again, I can't crosspost, because, and I quote "Client error: Your IP address is temporarily banned for exceeding the login failure rate."

I am thisclose to saying fuck it to LJ, and letting those of my friends who only post there, that they can find me here. Jesus Harold Christ.

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Location: the home office

My Brother the Cop

In what is surely the universe's warning to me about creating badly written and structurally unsound posts, replete with unnecessary phrasing and unneeded facts that would, ultimately, serve only to muddy the metaphysical waters, my original attempt at this one disappeared. I have no idea when or how, since I had the tab open and unfiddled-with for a day or so. Checked in this morning and - hey-presto! - it was gone. Thank you, universe.

No. Really. Thank you. I needed to do a better, tighter, more direct job. That didn't happen, but I do think this is a better post than my original effort.

My younger brother is a retired cop.

( More underneath. )

So I end this with two thoughts.

Look for the occasional good cop apple. They're out there, trying not to drown in the Fucking Racist, Classist, Misogynist Ocean of Shit that is modern policing. Get them out of that ocean, and tell them "It's time for you to help drain that FRCMOofS and create something newer and better." I think they will be eager to help.

And, more immediately, read this New York Times article on William J. Lewinski, the reprehensible (there's that word again) prophet of American policing's "shoot first, cover it up later" philosophy. Many thanks to

minoanmiss , who brought this guy to my notice back on May 31, and who advocated sending the PoS a message about how he is, in fact, a PoS peddling "Us Against Humanity" attitudes among police he trains - the snicker quotes around the word trains are more than implied - and suggesting that he, you know, STOP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. You may well have seen this and done that, because I am, as usual, late to the party, but if you haven't - here you go.

Write your note and email it here: https://www.forcescience.org/contact.

Current Mood: determined
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Hambone's Blues Party, WDCB Radio
Crossposts: https://kaffyr.livejournal.com/559949.html

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kaffy_r

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Grasping at Grace (and Growth)

Transformation is Inescapable

Entries tagged with what fresh hell

Dept. of The Fall of Empires

Dept. of Everything's Fine. Just Fine.

Dept. of Life Is A Slog

Dept. of (Lack of) Humanity

Dept. of Insect Hell

Dept. of JFC

Dept. of JFC

Dept. of Despair

Dept. of Fuckery.

Dept. of JFC

Dept. of Injustice

Dept. of Goddamned Humans

Dept. of Remembrance Day

Dept. of Horror

Dept. of One Great Big Swearific Weekend

Dept. of SCOTUS Evil

Dept. of Fire and Weeping

Dept. of Remembrance

Dept. of It Doesn't Get Easier

Dept. of OMGOMGOMGOMG

Dept. of Anger and Horror

Dept. of Is It Gone Yet?

Dept. of We Are So Fucked

Dept. of Oh, FFS

Dept. of These Things Are Important

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June 2025

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