Dept. of Sadness

[kaffy_r]

Well, It Was My Own Fault

Got the last of my unpacking done, and found that I'd left my little carved wooden box with my four favorite pairs of earrings, including one pair that belonged to my mother, in the hotel room in Cleveland. I called the hotel, spoke with housekeeping, and of course it never even made it to the lost and found box.  

The worst of it is that I felt a completely unworthy anger at having left an extra tip when I left; not a lot extra, but enough that my room mate told me I shouldn't leave it, because she'd left a larger tip the day before.

I mean, what the hell, kaffyr? You can be mad that someone decided to take the box — and I will be oh, so glad to be proven wrong, if I could discover that I'd just pulled the box out of my suitcase late Sunday, and misplaced it in the house — but don't regret leaving the tip. You left the tip because you know that hotel workers don't get paid enough; whether or not one housekeeper couldn't resist taking the box doesn't change the fact that she or he should be compensated fairly, and isn't. And you should never refuse to give a tip because the person who gets the tip might be dishonest. 

All of that aside, I am very sad. That box had the four sets of earrings that I wear. Every other set of earrings in my house, with the exception of two, is unwearable and kept only for sentimental reasons.  I really should have listened to the tiny gut-voice that told me not to take the box this time (although I've taken it with me on plenty of trips before.) I didn't, and so I basically lost all of my earrings. And losing the ones that Mum used to wear is particularly hard.

Comments

[kerravonsen]

*hugs*
Oh that awful feeling you get when you've lost something but you can't be sure you have, and you go over and over all the places you've already searched, in the irrational hope that you missed something...

As for tipping, I utterly loathe a system in which employers do not give a fair day's pay for a fair day's work, in which random assholes can make the difference between whether you can pay the rent or not. I didn't realize the system over there was so bad until I found a US internet-friend who worked as a waitress. Fortunately, after several years, she managed to get a job outside of the hospitality industry, an actual 9-to-5 job that pays you for the work you do.
(sigh)
One of the reasons I like living in Australia: tipping is completely optional, and really the only places where it's customary are high-end restaurants.

[kaffy_r]

I dislike the system as well, and the painfully slow evolution away from it in the American service system. I learned to give a 15 percent tip in restaurants before noon, and a 20 percent tip after that, as well as a 20 percent tip in non-restaurant venues like hotels, largely because of BB; who'd worked as a waiter and a bartender, and knew personally how little American service industry denizens make. It was an unpleasant shock to me, since I'd thought, foolishly, that a tip should be for extra meritorious service. Until the situation changes in this country, I will never think that again, and will always tip.

As for the earrings...yes, I will miss them terribly. But they are, in the end, only material goods (it's hard to say that about the ones my mother used to wear, and which I loved, but it's still true), so I shall make myself get over it, if at all possible.

[ljgeoff]

What a hard thing. *hugs* Honestly, I think I'd be a little resentful too. Even though I know what it's like to be in that position.

[kaffy_r]

I'm glad that the resentment was fairly brief. And I've decided I'm going to look for replacements, over time, for each of the four sets I lost. A couple were from Elise's poetry collection at the two Wiscons we went to. Perhaps if I go to Wiscon again, and she decides she can go back there, I'll try for replacements from her.

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

I share your sadness.

"Pierced or not pierced?" asks the woman who has an idea....

[kaffy_r]

Thanks for the sharing. It helps. And pierced.

*resists asking about the idea*

[gerisullivan.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha!

Rubs palms together in anticipation.

While the earrings are lost (much as I hope they later turn out to be found), the story isn't. The story continues, it goes on and on...

[kaffy_r]

Heh. Don't you go being all Geri on me ... although I suspect that the world finds it hard to stop you being a Force of Nature ....

And you're right — the story goes on. And I'm working on achieving Zen about this whole thing.

[azalaisdep.livejournal.com]

Oh, my dear, I am so sorry. That would make me really miserable too, for all the same reasons it does you. I will cross my fingers that the impossible happens and the box does turn up somewhere.

[kaffy_r]

If the impossible happens, I suspect everyone on my f'list will hear about it, in capital letters. Thanks for your thoughts.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

Oh, that sucks. I hope the box does turn up!

[kaffy_r]

I shall definitely do the happy dance if it turns up, but I'm guessing it's gone for good. As I told BB last night - I hope at the very least that the taker enjoys the earrings. They certainly won't go for much; no actual gemstones, for instance. So, let them adorn a new set of ears.

[sarren.livejournal.com]

That is very generous of you :)

[eve11]

:( I hope it ends up not stolen, and that you find it all.

[kaffy_r]

That would be marvelous, but the possibility continues to recede, and I'm working on accepting that.

[strannik01.livejournal.com]

Ugh, that sucks. I'm sorry.

[kaffy_r]

Thanks. It was suckalicious, but I keep reminding myself "First World Problem" and hope, as I said downthread, to achieve some sort of Zen about it.

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, I'm sorry, how rotten! *hugs* (And it's not really your fault even if it feels that way; it's not as if you could actually have known you would lose it/have it taken if you took it with you! ♥)

[kaffy_r]

That's the thing I've been telling myself since yesterday, and I hope to become Zen about the whole thing eventually. Thanks for your thoughts.

[a-phoenixdragon.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey...I'm so sorry!! What a horrid loss! And the instant self-recrimnation does not help. There is always something we feel we should have done (or not done).

I wish there was a way to make you feel better about this. I hope they find their way back to you...

*HUGS*

[kaffy_r]

Thank you for your thoughts, my dear; I don't think they will return to me, and I'm working on being OK with that. That includes letting up on the self-recriminations, which are too often an almost reflexive response that I take.

*hugs back*

[liadt]

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your earrings. I hope they turn up somewhere.

[kaffy_r]

Thanks. I think it's better for me if I believe that they will never return to me, and I'm working hard on that.

[liadt]

Aw! *extra hug*

[kaffy_r]

♥

[mack-the-spoon.livejournal.com]

Awwww. Sorry.

[kaffy_r]

Thanks. I appreciate your thoughts.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Oh no, I'm so sorry :( Losing sentimental things like that is terrible. *hugs*

[kaffy_r]

It is, but I'm going to focus on remaking some of those memories with new earrings (and I keep reminding myself that the ones I have of Mum don't require something material.) Basically, I'm tricking myself into feeling better about it. Thank you for the hugs, too; they're very much appreciated.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Sounds good ♥ Indeed. Memories are in the soul.

*more hugs* ♥