Dept. of Domestic Physics

[kaffy_r]

My Desk Is A Black Hole

Or more precisely, it's a black hole that can drive in reverse.

Remember how we found Bob's passport in one of the desk's drawers, one that we'd searched multiple times? Well here's what happened today.

As you may recall, I had to order new checks because the checks I'd previously ordered had gone missing. I assumed that I'd mistakenly thrown the new checks out. After ordering a second set of checks, I joked with Bob that the original "new" checks would reappear soon after the second set of new checks arrived in the mail. Of course that wouldn't happen, because I'd thrown them out.

This morning, I found the supposedly trashed checks in a pile of paper on top of the desk. A pile both Bob and I had searched before.

Now the nice thing is that those checks are still usable, unlike the cancelled passport. But sweet lord, this desk! It taketh, and it ... uhm ... returneth. 

Paging Richard Feynman ....

Comments

[dreamshark]

It could be worse. I once heard a story on the radio (before podcasts even existed, so maybe something on NPR?) about a fine-looking old oak desk that seemed to somehow be starting fires in whatever house it was placed in. Nobody ever SAW it start a fire, but somehow small house fires tended to occur around it. Apparently the fires were never big enough to burn up the damn haunted desk, but at least one owner had gotten spooked by it and passed it on to someone else who also started having house fires.

Still waiting for my missing passports to turn up in your portal desk...

[owlboy]

This makes me want a remake of Firestarter where, instead of a spooky child, the pyromaniac protagonist is a haunted desk

[kaffy_r]

My desk, now named Portia because of its apparent portal powers, is, I hope, a well balanced and emotionally mature piece of furniture, facing the future with equanimity, and the occasional kidnapping of financial and identity papers. Fire will, I hope, not figure into it.

Also, Portia is only spooky if one is considering tidying it up. Then it's fucking scary.

[kaffy_r]

Now you've given me the proper name for my desk - Portia. Thankee kindly!

I'll keep an eye out for your passports. I'm also glad to report that I have a kitchen fire extinguisher spray bottle not six feet from me. Forewarned is forearmed - or in my case, one-armed.

[thisbluespirit]

You may need to call in Sapphire and Steel at this point, although unfortunately, you may not enjoy the experience. But neither will the desk.

[kaffy_r]

AAiieeee! The walls of Time grow thin around my desk (to which dreamshark has helpfully, if inadvertently, given the name Portia.) I'm hoping to convince the lovely lady in blue, and her saturnine grey-clad companion (and the other one the one with red hair and sparkling conversational abilities, should he be part of the team) that Portia shouldn't be harmed, and would, in fact, not harm anything but the odd check-book.

[thisbluespirit]

Steel will want to do away with Portia just to be on the safe side. The damage could be uncontainable even so!!

[kaffy_r]

Ah, Steel, I expect that asking you for mercy would be foolish. I may have to make the argument to Sapphire and Silver.

[thisbluespirit]

They'll just be nicer to you when they get rid of the desk! ;-D

[kaffy_r]

Oh dear. Then all is lost.

*brightens*

Perhaps it's something on or in my desk, rather than poor Portia herself. I'll be glad to hunt down the miscreant time-disturber. I have lots of old papers topping it ....

[thisbluespirit]

A wonderful plan.


Of course, you'd better hope that the problem is the desk or paper, and not you!!

[kaffy_r]

*waves hands*

EEEEEEEEEEEeeeee!!!!