Dept. of Physical Changes

[kaffy_r]

For Me, This Is Good

Over the last 110-115 days, I've deliberately been watching what I eat, somewhat compulsively, but also cheerily, with the help of the myfitnesspal.com website.

I have lost very slightly more than 24 pounds, by keeping my daily caloric intake to between 1,200 and 1,500, with some notable exceptions like Thanksgiving and one particularly decadent night out with friends. I'm supposed to stay at 1,200 in order to lose 1.5 pounds a week, which was my original goal, but I'm not obsessed enough to kick myself for not keeping to that. And not kicking myself has helped. 

In these 110-115 days, I've changed my way of thinking, (and I've developed a love affair with non-buttered popcorn as a nightly snack). I've felt as if I was in control of my body for the first time in ages, and in particular for the first time in the past two to three years.

In 2009 and early 2010, I lost 50 pounds, but that was due to illness, and I couldn't stop losing until the initial attack of my RA and scleroderma was under control. I liked losing the weight, but I was plagued by the knowledge that I wouldn't have been able to lose it on my own. Not at that time, anyhow. 

In the past two to three years, my weight went back up pretty much to where it was before 2009. I told myself that I was OK with larger clothing sizes; that I carried my weight well; that I could look at myself with some healthy body positivity. For the most part, I wasn't telling myself lies. 

But one day I got up, after a bad night of GERD, and something had changed in me. I really wanted to get my body under my own control, at least to the extent that any human can control I looked for a calorie counting program, because I knew that was what would work for me. 

And the effort took. I don't know why, why I've been able to do this. But I am glad, and determined to stick with it. Yesterday I had to buy a new pair of jeans because all the jean I had would no longer stay up without a belt, and I'd tightened the belt to its final hole. I've been able to wear shirts that have been off-limits to me for close to two years.  

This is under a cut because there are people who don't need to see it, and I respect that. But I had to talk about my own journey, still in progress, and how good it's making me feel so far. I hope it continues.

Comments

[owlboy]

congrats!!

[kaffy_r]

Thanks!

[thisbluespirit]

Aw, well done!

[kaffy_r]

Thanks - I'm going to try to keep at it!

[eve11]

Wow, fantastic! 1200 calories a day is tough. When I can be bothered to diet I try to stay between 1400-1600.

[kaffy_r]

I'm sort of getting used to the 1,200 to 1,500 level, although I'm also looking forward teo going on a maintenance level of 1,500 to 1,600 once I reach my goal. That's 7-10 pounds away, so I'm glad my body is more or less used to the lower number.

[promethia_tenk]

Making sustained change like that is so hard, and so hard to know why it sticks one time and not others. Good for you!

[kaffy_r]

Thanks - at the moment, I'm glad that it's a positive mystery, so to speak, and not a negative one.

[ljgeoff]

I used Noom this year and lost 30 lbs. Then I took a three break and not only didn't gain any back, but lost maybe 5 more. I really relate to the feeling that you express about it just being time to do this. About feeling that my body needs some attention. I'm back on Noom now for another 30, but I'm not stressing about it.

[kaffy_r]

I'm glad you get what I'm talking about, and tickled at your progress. That you and I are doing much of this as the holiday season, aka "the time of year when everyone gains a bazillion pounds thanks to Aunt Frieda's butter-and-sugar-laden holiday cookies and goose offerings" is also notable. Heh. And seriously, congratulations!