(no subject)

[kaffy_r]

Time Is Too Much With Us

I just found myself in tears as I listened to an album, one I first listened to in 1975, in Charlottetown, PEI, as a freshly minted reporter at the fine old age of 19-going-on-20. I listened to it with Janet Sears, one of my newsroom colleagues, and one of my closest friends at the time. She was a sweet-faced, wryly funny woman of character, toughness and complete goodness. We were dealing with heartbreak, but we were dealing with it together, and she helped me with her laughter. I hope I helped her, as well. She died of ovarian/cervical in the late 1990s, and I miss her. 

I didn't mean to cry. But yesterday, my brother called me and told me that Joei Stevens, my first boyfriend, my first love, the boy whose virginity I took (and he mine), died last week.

I saw him again, a few years ago, and it wasn't a bad conversation. He'd been a theater major when we met - my mother worried about the fact that I was 16 and he 21, but she had him over for dinner, and decided he was a good boy.

He was.

The world was a little too much for him; he was an anomaly in his farming/fishing family. They loved him, but didn't understand him. He ended up becoming a librarian, and I think he liked that a great deal, but I think he might have faintly regretted, or more than faintly regretted, not having stayed in his theater world. He never, as far as I know, had another serious relationship after me. He lived alone. I am glad to hear from Mac that he had friends who visited him for the very short time he was in hospital (something like a day). 

But he's gone, too. 

And last week, I learned about Maggie. 

I know it's what happens at my age. 

But listening to that album unexpectedly kicked me in the teeth. 

Comments

[sovay]

His memory for a blessing. It may be the season, but it's not fun.

[kaffy_r]

Thank you. What you say is very true.

[maia]

I am so sorry, Kaffyr.

Lots of love to you.

[kaffy_r]

Thank you, my dear.

[chez_jae]

I'm sorry to hear of your friend's passing.

[kaffy_r]

I appreciate your thought. Thank you.

[eve11]

I'm sorry to hear this. Melancholy sets in but I hope it doesn't stay too long.

[kaffy_r]

Thanks. I feel better today, and I think being able to speak about it here helped.

[bibliofile]

<3 <3 <3

[kaffy_r]

Thank you, my dear.

[st_aurafina]

I'm so sorry.

[kaffy_r]

Thank you.

[thisbluespirit]

I'm sorry. ♥

[kaffy_r]

Thank you for your thoughts; they are much appreciated.

[(Anonymous)]

im so sorry ::hugs::

[kaffy_r]

Thank you for the hugs, I appreciate them.

[liadt]

Sorry to hear:(

[kaffy_r]

Thank you. It's part of life, and I recognize that, but sometimes it can be hard, and I had word of two unexpected deaths very close to one another; it hit me unexpectedly. Having friends offer sympathy is much appreciated.

[minnehaha]

The important relationships stay in our hearts even if they are not in our lives. The things you learned from him are still with you, too.

K.

[kaffy_r]

This is true, even when one thinks that one has forgotten them. That's when losses like this are most apt to ambush us. It's good to remember what you have reminded me of. Thank you.

[rosefox]

May their memories be blessings for you.

[kaffy_r]

Thank you. Their memories are indeed blessings, although, like all memories, they are bittersweet.