Dept. of Pointing and Jeering

[kaffy_r]

Thirteen-Plus Years Too Late

One of the movie series I actively avoided in the early oughts was the Twilight Saga. (For that matter, it was one of the book series I also swerved to avoid.) I've been learning why that was a good idea - and also why the movies are so enjoyable to make brutal fun of. Sparkly vampires! Hunky werewolves! The biggest Mary Sue to ever Mary Sue! What's not to eyeroll about?*

One of the things we do over on the Couch Discord is to watch movies; some to love for the first time, some to love again - and some to ... well, not hate-watch, more to snicker-watch. 

And yes, the Twilight Saga has been what we've watched every couple of Fridays over the last couple of months. The official title of this exercise is "Drunk Twilight," on the basis of knowing one has to be in an altered state of mind to watch the thing and not gouge one's own eyes out. 

I'm about to hit the Twitch Stream to watch "Twilight; Breaking Dawn, Part One" and I know it's going to be ridiculously painful fun. 

To the movie!


* How did Kristin Stewart end up being such a good actor after having to plough through dreck like this?

Comments

[elisi]

I had to trawl back through my Twilight tag, but here is my 'review' of the first movie. ^_^

I will also link you to the single best Twilight vid ever made: Sunburn.

[kaffy_r]

Your review made me grin several times. Heh

the way he keeps trying to look deep and troubled, but only comes across as constipated

*snort*

As I said about Kristin Stewart, I don't know how or when Pattinson learned to be such a good actor. Or maybe he and she were always good actors, but were directed by someone 14 years old and going through the last gasp of puberty.

ETA: I can't believe someone made a vid that made the first movie look good. They should be ashamed of themselves.

[elisi]

Your review made me grin several times. Heh
^_^

As I said about Kristin Stewart, I don't know how or when Pattinson learned to be such a good actor. Or maybe he and she were always good actors, but were directed by someone 14 years old and going through the last gasp of puberty.
Pattinson has been SO SCATHING of Stephenie Meyer, it's amazing. You can look it up. All his interviews about Twilight are him saying things like: 'This woman is disturbed' and 'It was really weird and uncomfortable to film'.

ETA: I can't believe someone made a vid that made the first movie look good. They should be ashamed of themselves.
They are a god-tier level of vidder.

HOWEVER. I have also dug out two other vids:

Sparkle Time (Nothing does this justice.) (I can't find it on youtube, if you don't trust the source I can send it to you.)

Buffy vs Edward: Twilight Remixed
In this re-imagined narrative, Edward Cullen from the Twilight Series meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's an example of transformative storytelling serving as a pro-feminist visual critique of Edward's character and generally creepy behavior.
(I love Buffy so much 💖)

[kaffy_r]

More things to amuse me; thanks! (Although the Sparkle Time link doesn't work for me.)

[elisi]

Although the Sparkle Time link doesn't work for me.
Here you go:

https://www.sendspace.com/file/fl2uufnd

[kaffy_r]

Thank you!

[elisi]

On My Trip to Hell

[lsanderson]

Five days from MSP to SGN, the first or second hint of the impending disaster was when the United plane wouldn't start at O'Hare. I scoured the bookstores before heading off to the United hotel without luggage or clothes, and had the misfortune to only find the first Twilight book on the racks that was SF or F. I bought it, and probably should have burned it at the next night's United hotel stop in Anchorage to help raise the room temperature in the motel they stuck us in. I had plenty of time to read it on the way from O'Hare with the diversion to Anchorage and the several hours sitting on the runway there before the flight continued the next afternoon to Hong Kong. I gave it to the younger Canadian/Vietnamese girl who was sitting beside the guy they took off in the ambulance, which I would discover the next day when the United stews counted our section ten times by hand and finally asked her where the man who was sitting beside her was -- "You took him off in the ambulance," was her reply. I hope she enjoyed it more than I did.

Re: On My Trip to Hell

[kaffy_r]

I gave it to the younger Canadian/Vietnamese girl who was sitting beside the guy they took off in the ambulance,

snrk
snicker
guffaw

I must hear about that trip to Hong Kong. Also, you write just like Hunter Thompson in this little paragraph. A jewel. A jewel almost as sparkly as Edward Cullen.

(Also, I don't have any sparkly vampire icons, so here's a picture of Felix from Stray Kids. And his abs.)

[thisbluespirit]

Ha, have fun! I tried the first film and thought it was taking itself too seriously to be enjoyable-bad, but the books totally were. I read the first 2 and they were just "This is terrible! Must read more!" lol.

[kaffy_r]

I believe I tried reading the first book; I can't recall whether I actually read it to the end. The rest of them I avoided, and I salute you for reading more than one of them. The first movie was almost kind of good; the next movies were ... not. As I said, hate-watch is too strong a phrase; snicker-watch just about covers it.

I think I read somewhere that Meyer had never read any vampire lore or stories, so she just made things up out of whole cloth. Mind you, that's what probably started modern vampire lore back a ways, but still. Heh.

[thisbluespirit]

Ha, well, I was a children's librarian at the time, so I felt obliged. I read little that was worse during that time, but a bunch of things that were nevertheless less fun. XD

[kaffy_r]

I read little that was worse during that time, but a bunch of things that were nevertheless less fun.

That this makes sense to me probably says a lot about me. Heh.

[chez_jae]

The worst thing about the Twilight saga is that it inspired the '50 Shades' shitshow.

I still can't believe S Meyers didn't sue EL James for every penny.

[kaffy_r]

That's right; I'd forgotten that it was Twilight with the registration filed off.

Which of the two was the better writer?

[chez_jae]

I never read either one. LOL!

[kaffy_r]

I imagine you made the correct choice. Heh.